


A Part of Me

by Reborn_Rekall



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Anger, Angst, Care, Cumplay, F/M, Fighting, Filth, Fluff, Jealous Bellamy Blake, Jealousy, Longing, Pining, Smut, Soft Bellamy Blake, Softness, a little rough then very intimate, canon level violence, so many romantic feels it doesn’t even look like I wrote this., switch - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:02:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29768331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reborn_Rekall/pseuds/Reborn_Rekall
Summary: Two leaders of the Skaikru are ready to live and die for their people but what does it take to confess how they feel about each other?
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	A Part of Me

**Author's Note:**

> I literally couldn’t do anything before getting this fic out of my system. Y'all, this fic says a lot more about my love for Bellamy than my actual writing skills LOL. This is my husband, idc what anyone says. And the guava wood info is backed up by yours truly who once made my own bow and arrows. Ah, good times.
> 
> Also there’s music rec for this fic which is Black Flies by Ben Howard because y'all just need to feel this, put it on loop and vibe with me mofos.

The vegetation rustled loudly as Bellamy walked. In contrast, Y/N’s steps were calculated and silent while she treaded through the plants.

“How do you manage to be so quiet?” he asked, the annoyance in his voice hiding the relief he felt that she could adapt so quickly to such a ferocious environment.

“I’m not that quiet, you’re just too loud.” she retorted, trying to contain a smug smile and focus at the task at hand.

“Then I guess you’re going to have to teach me your tricks, Y/N/N.”

“Maybe, Bell. Maybe.”

“Promise?” He teased. Y/N finally looked at him with an affirmative grin before changing topics.

“Listen, we gathered enough stones to make the arrowheads we need and it’s getting late, so what do you say we go back to camp and try to get the wood some other time?”

“I’m sure we can manage to go a little further, the guava trees are close by.” he spoke pensively before taunting. “And weren’t you the one fighting over how much we need that specific type of wood?”

“Hey, I’m just worried about what we’re going to do if we run out of bullets. We need to adapt, whoever said the meek inherit the earth must’ve never heard of natural selection.” she defended. “But you’re right, let’s keep going. Guava wood is strong and malleable, so it will be easier to make bows than with any other wood and at the same time, they’ll be durable weapons.”

The pair continued searching for a while, disregarding the dangers as the sky darkened furthermore and moonlight filtered through the trees. Unexpectedly, Bellamy clasped onto Y/N’s shoulder and stopped her in her tracks.

“Wait.” his tone hushed, senses tuning in. “Something’s not right.”

He reacted quickly, throwing Y/N to the floor with him before she could get hit by a spear. Pain spread through his arm, the spear having grazed it before sinking into the dirt.

“Grounders!” He yelled before shooting two members of a group that emerged from the shadows. Y/N joined him, both effectively killing the men and fighting back to back. One covered while the other reloaded and vice versa, keeping their dynamics going for a while until the men managed to get too close.

One grounder tackled Y/N to the dirt, striking her with a punch that split the skin of her cheek, but she shot him in the head before he could cause any more damage. As soon as the body hit the floor four others appeared from his place, she pulled the trigger only to come to a dreading realization.

“I’m out of ammo, Bell!” Y/N screamed before pulling out two blades from her sleeve. She used her position to swipe the closest man off his feet and slide in between two others. She cut the back of one man’s knee and severed the achilles tendon of another, bringing both giants down to her level and slashing their throats while Bellamy shot the rest in the head.

Bellamy looked at the last remaining grounder running towards him and pulled the trigger but no shots fired. Fists rose preparing to fight the grounder hand-to-hand but before that could happen something flew past him and into the grounder’s chest. The man fell back, immobile and with an arrow buried in his heart. When Bellamy looked back, Y/N stood bloody and holding a bow that belonged to their dead enemies.

“See? I told you it’s all about adapting, Bell.” she uttered with a smirk, the aftermath of the battle settling in. Bellamy didn’t smile, running towards her to check how hurt she was. His eyes were wild, working with his hands as they scanned trying to figure out where the bleeding was coming.

“It’s not mine, turns out cutting someone’s throat isn’t the cleanest job in the world.” she clarified, rushing to pull a rag from her pocket and clear her face from grounder blood.

“I’m not hurt, Bell.” she confirmed once again and it was finally enough for him to pull her into a hug, the pain from his arm basically forgotten.

They made quick yet careful work of returning to camp, armed with their blades and the weapons they picked up from the dead men. When they finally reached camp, Clarke and Octavia greeted them at the gate with tight hugs, having been worried about the late duo. Y/N’s mind was nothing but relieved that they got to live another day. That was until she heard a certain voice.

“Bellamy.” A blonde woman called out before running into him with a force that nearly knocked him off his feet. Y/N knew exactly who that was; one of the few people in camp who tried to hook up with leaders to try a get a larger say over how things were done. Fuck hard work, right? Y/N raised her brow at the sight before her, annoyed but curious.

“What happened? Do you need me to help you?” spoke the girl whose voice easily got onto Y/N’s nerves. Bellamy let out a dry “No, I’m fine.” before getting suffocated by another embrace.

“I missed you.” she whined.

Y/N finally got tired of the scene, handing their gatherings to Octavia and walking away towards her tent with a roll of her eyes. Bellamy saw Y/N distance herself and politely pushes the girl away.

“Yeah, uh- I need to debrief so I’ll need to talk to you later.” With that final dismissal, he jogged to Y/N’s tent. He found her right outside of it, washing the remaining bloodstains from her face and neck.

“Clarke’s gotta take care of that arm before it gets infected, Bell.” she advised without facing him.

“Clarke’s busy.” the lie spilling easily from his lips, a lie he was used to telling. “Could you help me out?” Instead of an answer, Y/N simply entered her tent with him.

“Who was that?” asking casually while she searched for her first aid kit and a bottle of moonshine. Bellamy didn’t expect the question and found himself embarrassed that he couldn’t really remember.

“Uh, Stephanie?” he guessed with a head lowered and eyes cast downwards. “Kathy? I-I’m not sure.”

“Hey, no need to be ashamed. We all need to let out steam sometimes, I’m guilty of it myself.” Y/N confessed, her words immediately causing the man behind her to lift his gaze. “There are some guys here at the camp whose name I _definitely_ should be remembering, so I can’t exactly judge you.”

Bellamy would be lying if he said jealousy didn’t burn in his chest, but she wasn’t his. They never spoke of the night they had mere days after landing on Earth, of what happened when they felt free and invincible, oblivious to how dangerous the ground could truly be. Bellamy would be lying if he said Y/N’s breathy moans didn’t fill his dreams, that he didn’t love being haunted by the ghost of her tongue sliding against his skin. But after they understood the true implications of being leaders, they left that night to the past.

Y/N didn’t belong to him, though by now he felt like he belonged to her. There were parts of him that were only for her eyes, for her to know, see, experience. The weaknesses and vulnerabilities he had were so well guarded yet she could reach through that guard with such ease.

“I hope you weren’t fast to forget my name after we got together.” he spoke with a weak chuckle, a horrible attempt to defuse the tension between them. Y/N looked at him with nothing but a raised brow, surprised and ever curious as to why he would mention that night. Brushing it aside, she walked up to him with the first aid kit in hand.

“You got cut in the upper arm, right?” she checked, but Bellamy responded by gently taking the kit from her. _Let me take care of you first_ , his actions said. Her expression protested _You’re worse than me,_ but he didn’t care. They often had these silent conversations, it seemed to be the consequence of two leaders spending so much time together taking care of their people.

Pulling out cotton and antiseptic, Bellamy placed a hand to the side of Y/N’s face to keep her still while ge cleaned the split skin of her cheek. When the wound stung and caused Y/N to wince slightly, he soothed her with a swipe of the thumb that kept her in place.

“I’m sorry.” he whispered, brows furrowed in concentration.

“Don’t worry, it doesn’t hurt that much.”

“Not just for that. I should’ve listened to you when you told me to get back to camp. I just-” Bellamy wasn’t one to be at loss of words, so Y/N pressed.

“What?”

“It’s just hard for me to know when I should be acting in favor of your safety or the safety of our people, especially when a part of me wants to put you above everyone else.” Y/N tried to meet his gaze but he seemed even more concentrated on properly cleaning her wound. That was a confession if she’s ever heard one, a dangerous one. Y/N battled her feelings, torn between wanting to give in and fearing how that would affect them as leaders of the Skaikru.

Fortunately, hers was a small wound so Bellamy finished by applying an antibiotic salve before taking a selfish second to caress her jaw with the back of his hand and gift her with a faint smile. With Y/N finally cared for, he shrugged off his jacket and sat on her bed so she could see the wound on his arm. She looked at him as if asking _Can I touch?_ and he nodded his approval. After analyzing the cut, Y/N used a wet towel to clean the dry blood surrounding it and proceeded to start preparing the needle and thread. Bellamy took a swing of moonshine then settled, hands forming into a fist and inhaling to prepare for the pain that was to come.

He was starting to lose count of how many of his wounds she had stitched, how many times they patched each other up like this. Y/N knew that no amount of familiarity with a needle could make anyone hate it any less, so she placed her hand above his closed one and gave an encouraging nod - a reassurance and a silent _Thank you_. Once needle pierces skin, Y/N decides to distract Bellamy with a truth she should’ve already voiced.

“You didn’t make that decision alone, I agreed to it. Led us all the way there in the first place. We’re both at fault but we work with the best knowledge we have and we _always_ put our people above all.” Those were her final words as she stitched and bandaged his arm. That _always_ carried a lie, there were things inside her that were selfish enough to want to prioritize the man in front of her. But someone in a position such as hers couldn’t allow herself to be selfish. Just as Bellamy rose from the bed, Jasper entered the tent with a glass of moonshine in hand and a slight sway to his walk.

“Hey, there’s a party going on and you guys are missing it. You joining or what?” he invited with his characteristic devious smile.

Y/N nods and Bellamy answers. “Sure, we’ll be right there. And next time, give the heads up before entering someone’s tent.”

“Okay, bossy belly.” Jasper mocked before leaving. Y/N couldn’t contain her laughter this time, but she needed it anyways.

“I assume the people on watch aren’t drinking tonight?”

“Correct, can’t let our guard down, Bell. You go ahead, I need to change into fresh clothes first.”

“Yeah, me too. See you at the bonfire?” A hopeful look on his face. To his surprise, Y/N gave him a hug. Not one of the thousand hugs they shared, the _thank god you’re alive_. No, it was _I’m hugging you just because I want to,_ something Bellamy was strangely unused to.

“Sure, meet you there.”

After changing, Bellamy waited outside sitting at the bonfire with everyone else. Y/N took a lot longer than expected to show up so when he felt a presence approach from him, he assumed it was finally her. When the person hugged him, he couldn’t contain his smile. This was _definitely_ something he could get used to.

But he only came to realize who the person truly was when they spoke at the same time he caught sight of Y/N at the other side of the bonfire, watching him attentively and wearing a stone-cold expression as she sat down.

“Hey, Bell.” Stephanie or Tiffany or _whatever the fuck her name is_ called into his ear. That finally snapped Bellamy into action, getting the girl's arms off of him and pulling her to the side where they couldn’t be heard.

“Don’t call me that. Look, we had fun but we agreed that it was a one night thing. So I don’t know what you’re trying to do here, but I’m done.” He didn’t give the girl any time to react, immediately returning to the bonfire to check if Y/N had left but she was still there. Talking to Dario.

Bellamy’s blood boiled at the sight of Y/N’s hand caressing the inside of Dario’s thigh while she whispered something into his ear. Everyone else was too drunk on moonshine to notice when Y/N nibbled on Dario's earlobe or when she turning her head back to Bellamy and, staring straight at him, groped the man sat beside her.

Bellamy wished it was just jealousy, that this was an irrational feeling because of what he once had but jealousy was just the tip of the iceberg. He felt _hurt._ Like he lost her just when he had the courage to voice at least a small part of the feelings he could barely fit into his chest. The walk from where he stood to where Y/N sat was a blur, and Bellamy only registered his request once he got to her.

“We need to talk.” his tone leaving no room for argument, shooting a deadly look at Dario. Though it was nothing quite as deadly as the cold eyes Y/N greeted Bellamy with as she stood up and walked past him.

Entering her tent the second time this night, he saw her pour moonshine in a cup. Her back to him, always facing away, whether it was to cover him in battle or because she couldn’t look at him. His brain got caught up with worry, _She shouldn’t be drinking this much_.

“Do us both a favor and don’t lie to me, Bellamy.” She spoke first before downing a shot and turning to him. Her confrontational stance and the deliberate choice to not use the affectionate nickname she chose for him made the words get stuck in his throat. He didn’t want to fight, to feel this hurt or cause her any pain. But before he could voice that, Y/N accused.

“I guess honesty is too hard for you, huh?”

“What you saw back at the bonfire wasn’t what you think it is. I thought the person behind me was you.” He argued immediately. “And I meant everything I’ve ever said to you.”

“Oh please, stop lying. So what, you were telling the truth when you said you cared too much about my safety? Enough that it clouds your judgment as a leader?”

“Yes.”

“How about the dozens of times you told me Clarke was too busy to patch you up?” Bellamy’s expression was enough of a response that Y/N kept talking, her tone still furious but revealing the hurt she tried to keep deep down. “Do you know what I think, Bellamy? I think you don’t like being alone.”

“That’s not true, I only lied about that because I know you try to solve everything on your own.” he confessed, this time not backing down. “You think I don’t know about the times you’ve lied about how hurt you really were, the times you stitched yourself on the brink of passing out because you try to make everyone’s burden lighter to carry? I lied because I wanted to be there for you.”

“Do _not_ make this about me, this is about you! You’re terrified of being alone so you’ll stick around and pretend like you care until you get bored and need to find the next interesting thing.”

“It’s not true.” he implored, watching anger tear at her.

“I can’t believe I let myself believe in you, that I let you sweet talk your way into my head.”

“I’ve only wanted you.” his voice controlled as he approached her.

“Stop lying.”

“It’s only you, Y/N/N. No one else.”

“Stop lying to me, Bellamy!” the demand louder than before, emphasized with a push to his chest.

“I’m not.” he swore, grasping her hands and holding them to him. “It’s only you, it’s always been you.” Silence stretched for long seconds. Y/N stared at Bellamy hesitantly, afraid to believe until he saw the choice in her expression.

“Fuck you.” she mutters before bringing him down by the shirt to a rough kiss he immediately returned. Y/N bit his lip and kissed the side of his mouth, then moved onto the weak spot of his neck. Bellamy let go of her hands and feels her shove at his jacket, exposing skin and latching her mouth onto places he’s only been haunted by since that first night. He wears a dizzy smile, hearing her mumbling in between biting and sucking.

“That fucking bitch…” **A lick to his neck.** “…wasn’t hers to touch…” **A bruising suck at his pulse.** “…swear to god if I see her hands on you again.” **A punishing bite to his shoulder that’s littering with teeth marks.**

Y/N pushes him onto the bed and he leans back on his elbows, watching as she takes off his pants and underwear in one go. She returns by flattening her tongue, licking a straight line up his cock. Bellamy lets out a cracked moan at the unexpected move and Y/N quickly removes her clothing, dipping her fingers inside herself and shoving them into his mouth. His head spins at her taste and Y/N watches him suck eagerly before she sinks to her knees to lick at the precum that gathered on the tip of his cock. Bellamy lets a final gasp leave his lips when he feels her suck at the skin of his inner thighs. Calling to her, he grabs her by the hair and tries to clear his head.

“Fuck, I can still taste you.” he pants. After taking a second to ground himself, he takes Y/N’s face into his hands, pushing back her hair and leaning his forehead into hers. “Calm down, Y/N/N. Calm down. I know you’re still mad but I want things to be different this time. I wanna us to take our time… I want to feel you.”

Y/N can still hear her heart racing in her ears and she shudders at the intimacy he’s asking of her.

“Me too, I want to feel you inside me.” she purrs, the harshness of her tone disappearing but the want still there and making Bellamy’s chest tighten.

He sits her in his lap and puts two fingers into his mouth, wetting before slowly dipping them inside her and going straight for the g-spot. He strokes slowly but firmly, building onto the tension that’s making her resolve crumble. He wants to keep her head in place, swallow the dazed look in her eyes as she gives in to the feeling more and more. The stimulation is enough to keep her on edge but never go over it.

Y/N loses her ability to sit straight, gripping onto Bellamy’s hair and latching her mouth to his collarbone while she lazily rides the fingers deep inside her. When she thinks she might finally cum, Bellamy pulls away. Feeling his fingers against her lips, she doesn’t hesitate to lick them clean before being brought into a sloppy kiss.

She pulls her head back, looking at the hardness in between his legs. When she looks back at Bellamy’s face, they both nod and give each other hazy smiles. Bellamy splays a hand to Y/N’s lower back, the other lining his cock at her entrance. Both their breaths hitch with anticipation, his tip teasing running up and down her slit. Y/N grasps his chin, bringing him into another kiss when he finally pushes.

“G-God, Bell.” she moans into his mouth, her hand moving to the back of his neck. He sinks slowly, letting her feel every inch and his eyes rolling back with how warm and tight she is.

When he’s fully inside her he pauses to let her adjust, their lips just barely touching and breathing each other’s air. Bellamy presses gentle kisses onto her face, going from her forehead to her temple and cheekbone, then her mouth. 

“Are you okay?” he asks, blown pupils carrying so much care and hunger. She responded by cupping his cheeks and bringing him in to suck at his lower lip.

“I lied before.” he rasped making eye contact, freckles highlighted by flushed cheeks. “I lied about one thing. About when I said there was only one part of me that wanted to put you above all else. Everything inside me screams to keep you safe. When I see you hurt, I hurt too. I feel this desperation consuming me, telling me I should protect you, telling me to take all the pain so you won’t have to. Every part of me wants to be selfish, to be yours. Only yours”

“You’re mine now.” she answered, finally letting these feelings out, tangling her fingers in his curls. “And I’m yours.”

Their bodies finally moved, working and meeting each other. The movements were slow yet every bit of friction caused an electric sort of pleasure to continuously ripple through them. They soon sped up their rhythm, hands gripping possessively, tongues unforgiving, lips swollen, holding onto each other as if nothing else existed. Their gasps, groans, and whimpers mixed together, a string of curses, begging, and calling each others names into the night. Their voices soon became strangled as they reached their edge, trying to be unheard by outsiders yet drunk on the clenching and pulsing and slam of their hips. Bellamy came first, Y/N following as soon as she felt him spill inside her. Overwhelmed with pleasure, she dug her nail into his hips to keep them in place.

“ _Stay inside, stay inside, stay inside._ ” the low sinful pleads against his skin driving him crazy, into a deeper mental space of possessiveness. Her orgasm drew his out longer and they both rode it with their heads buried in each other’s necks. They stayed in that position for a while, breathless and calming down from their high.

“I never forgot it.” Y/N’s ragged voice taking away the attention Bellamy had on the feeling of his cum escaping the both of them.

“W-What?”

“Your name, after our first time. We barely knew each other but I didn’t forget it.”

“I didn’t forget yours either.” he smiled widely before gently laying her down and bringing a blanket to their shoulders.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to hell y'all


End file.
